skymall

i've been flying every weekend since feb. so me and the guys have become quite familiar with the skymall magazine. for those of you who don't know, it's a periodical found in the seatback pocket in most airplanes and is a treasure trove of comedy. truth is stranger than fiction and sometimes the best comedy comes from things that aren't meant to be funny. for those of you who aren't familiar, here's a few examples:

1. Jumpin' Jammers Footed Pajamas - FOR ADULTS


I mean, how is this NOT a good idea?? skymall sees a genuine consumer need for full length footed pajamas and when they see a need, they deliver. for the guy in the middle, i'm sure right after this picture he put on a pair of underwear over the pajamas and tied a towel around his neck to he could complete the superman outfit. and of course, what better outfit to wear if you're going to be lounging around doing the splits before bedtime. i need to call my stock broker to see if i can get in on the ground floor of this company.

2. Bigfoot: "The Garden Yeti" Lawn Sculpture



If you're the type to decorate your back yard to the nines, then we have something for you. you've got everything - a koi pond, finely pruned trees, fountain, pristine garden, etc. BUT no garden is complete without a garden yeti. it used to be all about lawn gnomes and pink flamingos. but no, you've taken it to the next level now. shown here in the classic caught-on-home-video form, he watches over your plants and keeps the critters away.

3. Truck Antlers



Here's something for those of you who are not satisfied with their camo paint job and truck nuts. Truck antlers. I mean, that makes sense. make your car look like something that needs to be chased and killed. it might as well be a bullseye for cops. And hey, what better way to show people that you like to hunt and kill deer than to make your primary method of transportation look just like one.

4. Lawn Aerator Shoes



ok, this is just a downright lawsuit waiting to happen. but think about this - how crazy will you look to your neighbors when you're tip-toeing through the tulips like some escaped and drugged up mental patient for a few hours. GENIUS.

5. Powerlung



I have no idea what this does. And i don't think i want to know either. NEXT ITEM.


6. Neckpro Traction Device



i can't count how many times my wife and i have torn the house apart looking for some way to put my head in traction. i mean, who really needs doctors anyway?? got a neck injury? no need to go get it checked out. just take matters into your own hands. it's the same as changing your own oil to save some money, right?? what could possibly go wrong?


7. Dual Sided Electric Tooth Brush



This one looks pretty benign. That is, until you get a mental picture of how you will look while using it. And that's all i'm going to say about that.




I feel like i could keep going for hours. What's crazy is that the people who invented this stuff are probably making crazy money. If you think about it, it's a win-win. We get a nice chuckle when we look at this stuff, and the people who make it are laughing all the way to the bank.

P.S. New TFK record drops today. GO BUY IT.