Lost Finale

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if you haven't seen the finale of LOST yet, stop reading NOW. if you keep reading, it's your own dang fault cause this whole blog is about it. but when you do watch it, please come back and read.

and now, if you want to read more, just scroll past the only xkcd comic i could find that is somewhat relevant.




they're all dead. none of the drama means anything or makes any sort of sense because it's all just some sort of purgatory-ish daydream as they all cross the river styx to the afterlife.

here is an excerpt from one of my blogs titled "[I'm] LOST" from Thursday, March 4 2010:

"when LOST ends, it's going to be the biggest letdown ever. the collective sucking sound you will hear at that moment will be the public reeling from the shock that the story that they've spent countless hours speculating, formulating theories, and reading fan blogs about will have been for something so stupid. remember when seinfeld ended with what turned out to be essentially a clips episode? i'm talking ten times as much of a letdown as that...

...let me spell it out for you. THEY'RE JUST MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG."

so now with that being said, we come to the next order of business...


I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!!


so it turns out that LOST wasn't a sci-fi drama afterall. nope. all of us 18-34 year old male audience members have been suckered into the biggest prime time soap opera ever. there is no elaborate plot that twists and turns and finally comes together in the end. everybody said that the writers knew where they were going the whole time. well, it turns out they did. except they didn't have a plan on how to resolve all the unanswered questions. no, their pre-meditation was about how they were going to bait and switch us with the biggest crock on an ending they could think of. seriously, the whole "they're all dead but don't know it" was the first crackpot theory before everyone started having their own crackpot theories.

and ya know what? i'm not pissed at the writers. they pulled off a genius scam. they created a series that just made up random plot lines as they went along to keep ratings up without any forethought about bring it all together except for the cop-out "They're-All-Dead" trump card. they were creating questions all the way until the end. we never found out exactly what the light was, how it all worked, why a literal "cork" held it in, the sideways flashes, etc...

no, i don't blame the creators at all. they cashed in. they took all the intellectual sci-fi braniacs for a ride. how many of you spent hours on fan sites trying to find clues? how many spent hours trying to figure out what it all meant, the unifying theory to the LOST universe only to find out that it meant absolutely nothing. and the secret ending that nobody could figure out was the sort of obvious plot twist you'd see in a disney sitcom...well, ABC is owned by disney, so i guess that makes sense.

i mean seriously, you know you're lazy when you have a number 1 show for 6 years and your finale is borrowed from an M. Night Shymalan movie.



now don't get me wrong. i'm not a hater. i watched the show religiously. it was entertaining. they definitely knew how to leave you wanting more. but so does Days of Our Lives. that doesn't mean it's great writing. it only means they make stuff up to get people's attention. the standing joke about soap operas is that they make up ridiculous plot twists to keep people coming back.

"oh my gosh, she has a long lost brother! and she's been dating him!"

"i thought he died two years ago, but really he was kidnapped!"

"stefano is actually....HER FATHER!!"


the only reason i have an axe to grind is because so many people out there are completely in awe of how complex the storyline is. at a certain point it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. if a complex storyline equals awesome ending, then the more complicated a show is, then the ending's awesome-ness must be in direct proportion to how ridiculously complex it gets. while Heroes gets canceled because no one can follow the time traveling, LOST maintains its status as #1 with not on time traveling, but also with a completely alternate reality.

i saw a rather philosphical post today about the ending that said "we're all dead now. you just have to touch the right person and then you realize you lived on an Island with them at some point."

seriously? that is the biggest load of BEE-ESS i've ever heard. give me the instruction manual to assemble a cheap piece of IKEA furniture and i can put together some sort of reflective quote about "picking up the pieces of our broken life and making them into something great" or something like that.

and i can already hear one of the arguments against me. the writers have been quoted as saying that the details don't matter. they pointed to star wars:

"Take "Star Wars," for example. When the Force was a more ambiguous notion, it was more satisfying than when George Lucas tried to explain it as particles in the blood stream of a Jedi."


are they trying to say that because george lucas left out a few facts that it's some sort of a parallel for the black hole of answers that is LOST?? i mean, star wars was basically an inter-galactic civil war. LOST didn't even try to explain what the heck the island was, what the heck the light was, among about 1,000 other questions. a good story ties up all the loose ends in the end. they just ignored them and covered it up by saying, "hey, guess what....they're all dead. that other stuff about hatches and the others and alternate realities - ya, that didn't happen and we're not going to explain any of it because, well, we just made it up." it's like when a couple kids are playing basketball, one kid fouls the other, and when called on it, they just say it's their ball and they're going home.

but again, i give them kudos for cashing in and being such a success. they've written many more hit shows than i have. i just have a blog.

p.s. major props to @nathantbass for completely calling Jack sacrificing himself and Hurley taking over as the protector.

P.S. my buddy peanut is a LOST fanatic and we disagree on how stupid the ending was. he'll be posting his assessment shortly at http://lookingforlike.blogspot.com/

spandex and choke holds

words cannot describe what i have been through tonight. but i will try anyway. if i were to just tell you, you probably would not believe me, so i'm including many pictures. on one of my rare friday nights at home i found myself heading to a shady motel called the Stadium Inn near the interstate with a few friends. the excitement is bubbling over amongst us as we reflect on the stories and legends we have heard about this magical place.

as we walk in the doors we're greeted by a colorful crowd in the hotel lobby that is filtering its way into the main conference room. as we follow them in we are prompted to pay $8 and are seated amongst a scene that took me a while to process. how the heck did i find myself in the middle of a SEMI-PRO WRESTLING EVENT???

no, she is not one of the wrestlers. yes, beyond the ring you can see that there is enough room for 3 rows of chairs. the room is packed with about 100 people. i start to wonder how the wrestlers are going to jump from the top ropes if their head is hitting the drop ceiling. there are signs posted for their sponsor, a check advancing loan shark business. there's a man running the muffled sound system who is dancing in place and has a cowboy hat with the american flag printed all over it. the event starts and we're all prompted to sing the national anthem.

no sooner had the stereo started pumping some mindless grinder of a song that it all started. this was the real dog and pony show. we all watched WWF and WCW and WWE growing up. you know how it goes. song plays. wrestler comes out. people boo or cheer depending on his status as good or bad guy. but what's crazy is that since we were all packed into a room, how could we help but not to get into it and hurl insults, jeers and praise with everybody else?? best line of the night goes to nate lampa for yelling "attitude is everything" and later on "be optimistic."

all i can say is that my voice is kinda hoarse right now. when Kliff Hanger, a.k.a. The Black Diamond pompously prances around the stage, how am i supposed to just let that go without booing and showing my disapproval?? i mean, they had it all - tag teams, cheaters, a bad guy manager and even the middle of the ring drama of people talking smack over a microphone as if this practiced piece of theater were spontaneous. we LOVED it. the toothless old ladies on the front row loved it - although i'm not sure if they thought it was a real fight.

and in the title bout, one of the wrestlers who is a bad guy that goes by the name of The Crippler had what must be his girlfriend or wife as his ring girl, prancing around the stage, antagonizing the other wrestler and of course, wearing bad-girl black lipstick. you could tell they were a little older. now i'm not bashing this - it was actually kinda cool. they both got really into it and i hope when me and trish are in our late 40's we could do something this crazy.

as the two titans jostled about, we lurched out of our chairs, screaming and whipping ourselves into a frenzy. as the night progressed, i could tell that the "performers" were even starting to play to our side of the ring. in classic wrestling fashion, the fight spilled out on the seats as you can see here.

it appears the Crippler has just taken a bad hit from Boogie and his girlfriend/wife/ring girl is arguing with the ref over the validity of such a hit. the older ladies in the top right hand corner are definitely not happy about this.

the only sad part of the night is when the title bout abruptly ended when one of the guys got hurt - for real. the announcer got on the mic and said something about it being a draw and coming back next week. as people started filing out it became clear the dude was really hurt.

as we left the building, i noticed a bulletin board that was dedicated to some of their champions, past and present.

all i can say is that the experience was incredible. if you want, you can check out their website where they have videos posted at http://www.atlwrestling.net/. i had no idea anything like this existed outside of WWE. it's kinda like only seeing concerts in huge stadiums and one day realizing that bands played smaller shows too. i couldn't think of a better way to spend a friday night. and the best part?? i got my picture with the Psycho Medic!!

the REAL moral of the story

trish and i just got back from seeing the new robin hood movie. it was pretty good. i would say that it was amazing except for the fact that there is no accompanying bryan adams power ballad associated with it. remember the 80's and 90's when every good movie had a power ballad? if you don't, consider yourself lucky.

anyway, i walked into the theater half expecting some modern day retelling that focused on how evil rich people are with some sort of moral underpinning that rationalizes stealing from the rich to give to the poor via a modern day example of taxation of the upper class to pay for social programs. i was incredibly surprised to find just the opposite. ok, i won't spoil the movie for you, but the underlying message was about how when a corrupt government unfairly taxes their citizens, denies inalienable rights and squanders their wealth, then it is the right and duty for the citizens to rise up in defense of those rights.

i loved the disney version as a kid. but, criminettly nutsy, it doesn't quite pack the same message. in hindsight, it kinda painted the picture that people who are rich sit in their ivory towers all day with their snake-like friends counting their ill-gotten wealth. so in honor of that, i've compiled a list of disney movies and the messed up morals they promote.

The Little Mermaid

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this gem teaches young girls that they can only be princesses if they have legs. yes, a nice set of legs are the answer to all your problems. it also says they must win over their prince while keeping their mouth shut. oh, and that they should collect shiny things and hoard them all in a place where they can marvel at what to do with them. and that explains the fascination with walk-in closets.

Aladdin

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this movie tells young boys that the only way to have a chance with a pretty girl is to make lots and lots of money, or at least find ways to appear like you have lots and lots of money. it then goes on to tell young girls that if a guy lies to her and she finds out, she should take him back no matter how much he's broken her trust. it's a great way to get back at your dad. because, after all, he's just a lovable street rat trying to take you on some sort of "magic carpet ride" (or whatever the kids are calling it these days).

and lastly.....

Beauty and the Beast

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ok, young ladies, listen up. this movie teaches us that all men are horrible beasts that need to be tamed and taught manners. when you're old enough to date, make sure you find a guy who has tons of issues and is the furthest thing from a real man so you can make him your little project. and if for some reason you get involved with a nice, fairly normal guy, you'll quickly find he isn't half as interesting as a guy who treats you bad.

now that i think about it, disney is all about reinforcing deep-seated daddy issues. thanks walt. you've really done our generation a solid.

TCO98

ok class. time for a pop quiz. raise your hand if you started reading my blog because i played for TFK? ok, you can all put your hands down. now how many of you realized i was in another band called The Class of 98 before that? ok, both of you can put your hands down. (thanks mom and dad).

here we are:

it's true. we got a record deal back in 2006 on The Militia Group and were super stoked because that's the same label that our favorite bands were on at the time - Copeland, Acceptance, Lovedrug, The Rocket Summer, etc... We toured on and off for a couple years in a van and sold a few thousand records. we weren't a buzz band climbing the charts, but slowly and surely people were getting into us.

well, after a 3 year hiatus which i will not get into, we're back. last year our singer steve wilson (who is a grammy and dove nominated producer) and i decided to start writing for a new record. this time it's different. it's not about touring the country trying to be the next big thing. it's about writing good songs and putting it out there for people who like it.

so anyway, we've posted a 4 song EP (with more to come) at http://legionofboom.bandcamp.com/album/eye-of-the-needle-ep-2. we've got it set up where you can download it and pay whatever you feel like it's worth. you can even download it for free if you don't have any money. we'd rather the music get into people's hands. anyway, i'd love to hear what you guys think. steve, matt and I have been agonizing over the music for the last couple of months so we've kinda lost all perspective.

that's all for now. tell me what you think. even if you think it sucks, that's ok. just be nice about it. haha

Baltimore

oh baltimore. you've provided a fun weekend. here are a few bullet points:

- we're complete nerds because we listen to NPR Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and Car Talk every week.

- Nathan got his phone stuck in the VCR we have mounted in the console. it took a back scratcher, a small screwdriver, then another large set of screw drivers and an hour of taking apart the dash to get it back.

- This was seen at a gas station somewhere in virginia. creepy.

- and while i'm posting pictures from this weekend, do you see something wrong with this sign?

- Stephanie's brother matt who is a great guy is also a huge gamer and showed us the ins and outs of world of warcraft and how he is a level 80 knight. he also showed us his collections of land and air mounts.

- on the way home we listened to a bunch of records by the late producer Jerry Fin after we found out that he died in 2008. RIP.

Ok, i'm back home now and i'd much rather spend time with my wife than write blogs. no offense. bye.

the more the merrier

i don't wanna seem like a late night talk show host commenting on the news stories of the day in some sort of strained joking manner like i've got some big chin or something, but i gotta say something about the arizona immigration bill argument that's going on.

we've all heard it before. people on one side say immigrants are taking jobs. others urge compassion for people escaping third world countries. has anybody ever stopped to think that embracing the "visitors" might actually be in our best interest?

the foundation of our basic economic theory comes from a book written in the 1700s by Adam Smith called "The Wealth of Nations." Smith posits that the wealth of a nation is not based on their resources but in the size and quality of its workforce.

it's time to take a hint from a hardcore band and break it down. let's say it's the 1700's and you're living on your own in the new world. you're responsible for everything - hunting food, raising crops, making clothes, caring for children, building shelter, transportation, etc. You and your wife work tirelessly everyday from sun-up to sundown just to squeak by and survive. even then, if a flood hits or there's a drought or someone gets sick, your all is sometimes not enough.

then the industrial revolution comes around. instead of one person being responsible for EVERYTHING, we develop specialized jobs. the assembly line. instead of working all day doing everything, you work all day doing one specific thing. but you see, there's a benefit there - because you're doing one thing all day, you become very good at it and you are able to produce more efficiently than when you were doing everything. the result of that efficiency is that instead of working every waking minute of the day, you have an extra hour or so of leisure time every day. the addition of more people working efficiently provides a benefit to all that would not exist if everyone was working individually.

as our society becomes more efficient at providing things we need, we gain more free time. two things that make us more efficient are our technology and the size of the workforce. as the population grows there's more and more slack in what it takes to survive. heck, we even pay people welfare for doing nothing. our economy is so efficient that we've gone from every family struggling to survive and working every waking hour to a society where we have an 8 hour workday and we can even afford to pay a small portion of our population welfare benefits to do no work at all - but that's a whole different rant. i'll come back to that later.

therefore the most basic economic theory says that the more people we have in our country working, the more efficient we will be. everyone benefits. many people say that immigrants "steal" jobs away from 'Muricans. but nobody ever talks about how for every immigrant who "steals" a job, that same person will use the services of many other americans. he'll buy gas from gas stations, pay for daycare, get his car worked on at the mechanic, pay for internet service, etc. A large portion of the mexican population here in nashville lives near the northern part of nolensville road. what if they weren't there? there's good reason to believe that many of the local businesses in that area that provide jobs to 'Muricans would have to close down. the fallacy of immigrants taking people's jobs is based on the assumption that those same people won't consume goods and services themselves.

now i must make one qualification. back to the welfare argument. the wealth of a nation is built on the size and QUALITY of it's workforce. it's probably safe to assume "quality" of the workforce is assuming that those people are actually working. providing open-ended welfare to immigrants completely negates the positive effect of them enlarging our workforce.

we should open up our borders and let people into our country with open arms. let's maintain existing citizenship and naturalization procedures. immigrants still have to pay their dues and pass the tests. they won't be able to vote. just let them work. they'll have to pay taxes. if they really want to live here, let's let them and make it a really good deal for us. no welfare or unemployment benefits. if they want to come here and work hard, then the only one who is losing out is the country they came from. the USA became a great nation because we were the first truly free nation. we have (somewhat) free markets that reward efficient and hard working individuals over those who are not. the same free market approach could actually encourage other governments to follow our lead lest they lose anymore of their hard working population. and in this case, that government happens to be arizona.