i'll give it to you straight

some friends of mine were joking the other day about how single youth pastors end up marrying girls from the youth group when they get old enough. out of that came the quote of the week. here's the setup: whenever a guy sees a pretty girl and wants to communicate his interest to his friends, he need only to say "man, i wish i was her youth leader." but i'm happily married so i don't notice pretty girls anymore. so for all you single guys out there, you're welcome.

you know, they say that a wedding ring is a chick magnet. and i think they're right. but i believe there's an alternate explanation. girls are drawn to confidence. but when a guy is trying to play up his game, there's always a fear of rejection. but now that i'm married, i'm not trying to win the attention of girls. i kinda don't really care what they think. it's remarkably freeing. and that translates as confidence. so here's another one for the single guys. just have fun with your friends and find a girl naturally instead of grasping at straws. and by grasping at straws, i mean going to bars with loud dance music trying to dance all up on some girl as if she's someone you'd want to bring home to mom anyway. take your affliction clothes and your shaved chest and your spray on tan home cause that modern mating ritual is lame.



let's talk about another method that is complete bull: the friend zone. this is the complete other end of the spectrum. some guy who doesn't have the confidence to risk telling a girl he likes her. if you're a dude that is deeply in love with a girl who is just a good friend, let me spell it out for you. your love is not a secret. it's obvious to the whole world - and especially her. does she always tell you how you're such a good friend? do you sit idly by while she flirts with other dudes? and worst of all, do you buy her stuff all the freaking time? if so, you have two options. either you strap on a pair and tell her how you feel, or take what has invariably been the world's biggest hint and move on.



and girls...wow, did you actually think you were off the hook on this one?? you know what's total Bee Ess that girls the world over are completely guilty of is the "He-likes-me-and-i-like-him-but-my-friend-liked-him-first-so-we-can't-date" line of reasoning. seriously? you're gonna let some childish, jealous "friend" keep you from a legit relationship? why do girls think it's ok to stake a claim on a dude and no one else can come near him? ya know, it's probably more of an issue of blackmail than anything else. that same girl who is immature enough to get mad at you because some guy likes you and not her is probably the same catty b-word who would make it her life's ambition to ruin you if you actually did. i remember growing up hearing the drama that my sisters went through and i kept saying "why do you even talk to these people?"



my theory is about girl's being catty is that it's connected to how helpless they feel. many girls still think that it's completely up to the guy to make a relationship happen. so if they no longer have any power to pursue a relationship, the only means of controlling your fate is to jealously guard the dude you've "claimed" in the hopes that one day he'll "wake up" and see what a [sic] catch you are and what he's missing. the reasonable thing to do would be to take initiative and try to talk to him. who knows, maybe tell him how you feel. but nooooooooo...you couldn't do that. that would actually be a rational, efficient and drama free way figuring out the situation.

"oh nick, you don't understand women"

i guess i don't.