the rules of Disney pop - the skill in writing crappy music

lately i've been studying disney pop from a songwriting point of view. and by disney pop i mean bands, singers and artist that you hear if you or a kid you know watches the disney channel or nickelodeon. yes, i know i know. nickelodeon is not disney. but both networks have artists who have their own TV shows and are geared towards young kids....and will probably grow up to be pill popping alcoholics with nothing to live for once their fountain of youth has run dry and they get their first wrinkle. so really when i say disney pop, that doesn't necessarily mean they're with disney. i'm just using that as a blanket term for teenie boppers.

some people think writing a song that is your own style is the most credible thing you can do. i would actually disagree. i mean, yes, you get more indie cred that way, but in terms of pure skill, writing a song within certain parameters and limitations while still being successful is a wonderful skill. for instance, take worship music. a lot of writers think worship music is the easiest and most generic music to write which requires very little skill. and to a certain degree, they are right. if you're trying to write a passable worship song, just throw together a few chords (preferably in G - God's favorite key, of course) and use some throwaway christian lyrics.

HOWEVER, i'm not talking about a passable christian song, i'm talking about a good one. in a worship song there is a certain tone of lyrics that are acceptable. and the song can't be too wordy. it must be simple for the congregation to sing. melodically it must flow a certain way - the melody can't jump any crazy intervals. the rules are incredibly narrow. but if you have the skill to work within those rules (or to successfully break them) and make a song that is successful, well that requires serious skill. "How Great Is Our God" by Chris Tomlin is, in my opinion, one of the best worship songs ever written. It's simple, easy to learn, catchy, reverent, modern yet still has a hymn-like quality to it. genius is not confusing people with complex intellect or skill - genius is making what is hard to understand seem simple. and "how he loves" by jon mark mcmillan is a wonderful example of breaking the rules but still making it work. his lyrics don't have the typical vibe and are actually way too poetic for a worship song, but somehow it works. you may or may not agree with me based on your view about the "sloppy wet kiss line" haha

i had this revelation about worship music last year as we were working on @superchicktrish's worship record as i sat in co-write session after co-write session trying to write worship songs as good as Tomlin or Crowder and realized it's actually really hard.

so back to disney. i've been studying disney and teenie bopper bands and singers lately - Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Hot Chelle Rae, etc...

Here's a few observations about Disney pop songs:

1. a higher percentage of disney pop songs are about love than the rest of the pop charts. like, if the rest of music is 50% love songs, disney pop is 75% about love.

2. the next most popular subject are what i call party songs. this is basically any sort of fun song that doesn't say much except to have a good time. i probably just insulted your intelligence by trying to explain what a party song is. anyway, i'd have to say love songs and party songs account for about 95% of all disney pop. and it makes sense. in high school all anybody thinks about is relationships and parties. haha

3. if you're writing a song for a teenage artist, it's natural to want to bring the lyrical content down to their level. for instance - talking about going to a school dance or whatever. but lyrically it's just the opposite. teenagers always want to be older so frequently their lyrics talk about subjects that are probably way beyond their years. when a 13 year old justin bieber sings about heartbreak, none of us really believe that he's really been through a serious breakup.

4. it's more about how the lyric rolls off the tongue than if it is well-written or poetic. for instance, take the first two lines from Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae which is currently all over top 40 radio:

"We're going at it tonight tonight

There's a party on the rooftop top of the world"

that second line doesn't make sense. yes, we know what he's saying, but "rooftop top of the world" is kind of gobbledeegook. but who cares!?!? it's catchy. that's my point. start listening to these songs, google their lyrics and you'll find this type of stuff all over the place. i didn't really understand this concept until a couple of years ago when i was in germany. i heard a song on the radio that intrigued me. at the time i didn't know any german but the phonetic sound of the lyrics just appealed to me. it just sounded cool even though i had no idea what he was saying. the song was "Haus am See" by Peter Fox. you can see the video here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq4cyu35M6Q

anyway, with younger people and kids it's more about the melody and the beat. and when they go to college everybody gets serious and artsy and they start to care about lyrics.

those are my observations. hopefully some of the you songwriters out there find this helpful? i'm guessing the rest of you won't care. but hey, it's my blog and i'll do what i want. (how very childish and disney of me :))

1984 or 1776?

president obama just signed a bill into law known as the National Defense Authorization Act, or NDAA for short. You can read pretty much everything you need to know about it HERE.

one of the things that the 5th ammendment to the US constitution guarantees is the right of due process. that means if you stand accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial, legal representation, etc. the government cannot throw someone in jail for no reason. or even if their is a reason, they can't just keep them in jail indefinitely without giving a trial. however, this new bill gives the government the right detain indefinitely anybody who they consider a terrorist. while this may sound ok to some people, what's discomforting especially is that the definition of a "terrorist" is incredibly broad. if a US citizen is detained as a terrorist, the government, by law, doesn't even have to state the charges, i.e., the reason for detainment. let alone a trial.

i just sent this message to my representatives in congress:

I am incredibly upset that you voted for the NDAA bill. This bill deprives citizens of their constitutional right to due process. How can a public servant who swears an oath to protect the constitution sleep soundly at night when you vote to tear it to shreds?

i don't care if this bill would help fight terrorists. i don't care if the passage of this bill were to somehow magically end Al Qaeda. i don't care how many lives this bill theoretically "saves". by taking away our right of due process to save lives, you are inadvertently throwing away the lives of those who have fought and died in defense of those rights.

shame on you [representative name]. shame on you. i promise that i will be voting against you in the next election.

All I Want For Christmas

i love christmas. many of you may even know that my birthday is on christmas. so this time of year is like a cornucopia of presents for me. most people get presents throughout the year, but i pile it all into one lump sum like a white trash lottery winner. but here's one thing that is kinda unfortunate (and i'm speaking in a 1st world problems sort of way). when you're a kid, the stuff you want doesn't cost much. now that i'm older, all the toys i want cost hundreds and thousands of dollars. expensive guitars and amps, pricey guns and studio gear aren't exactly stocking stuffers. but a couple years ago i had a wonderful experience. as a joke, my parents bought me and my two brothers-in-law one of those toy RC helicopters. i played with that thing CONSTANTLY. that year i had a revelation that from now on, i want TOYS for christmas. and i really mean toys.

do yourself a favor. get up early and turn your tv on nickelodeon or some other channel with cartoons. now wait for the commercials. and pick your jaw up off the floor and try to comprehend how awesome toys are nowadays. i mean seriously, when i was a kid we had GI Joes and legos. i got so bored with toys that i pulled out pots and pans and made my own drum set. the stuff they have now is ridiculously awesome. here's a few

1. RC Helicopters/Planes/Cars/Boats, etc.

radio controlled cars have been around since i was a kid, but now we have RC helicopters and planes. and yes, smart aleck, that stuff did exist years ago, but they were high priced hobby-grade models that were a serious endeavor. i'm talking about the $30 impulse buy that provides hours of fun to a newbie and will break a few hours later. the company Air Hogs makes tons of different flying RC stuff. i have the most fun hovering the helicopter a few feet in the air and watching my dogs go crazy trying to jump at it and catch it.

2. ANYTHING FROM NERF

when i was a kid, nerf made footballs and that's about it. nerf meant taking regular sports balls and make them soft and squishy. now Nerf has become training ground for kids who grow up building their own assault rifles. the guns look like something out of a space age war movie. they have semi-auto and fully auto rifles that shoot a barrage of soft projectiles to give you all the real fun of murdering people without the messy cleanup. the next tour i'm on, i want to have everybody get nerf guns and have a giant nerf fight one day.

3. Xploderz Water Guns

when i was a kid a squirt gun was exactly that. a little piece of plastic shaped like a gun that squirt out little whisps of water. now kids have super-soakers that can drench a kid from a half mile away and now this - the Xploderz water gun. this water shoots projectile beads of water kinda like a paint gun. i mean, how cool is this? i want to go get this now.

4. Lego

do i really have to explain the awesomeness of Legos??

5. Video Games

when i was a kid we had video games, but this is what i had to look at -

i mean, don't get me wrong. i love me some mario bros. but how can those 8 bit graphics compare to the realism of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3?? i mean, seriously, this stuff looks like it's REAL

when we all get older, we start asking for lame gifts. clothes and socks and tools and scented candles. i mean, seriously?? if you are to the point where you don't really want anything or really care about christmas, ask for toys!! you save a lot of money and it's seriously way more fun.

i'm going to be a daddy in april. and one of the coolest aspects is that to a certain degree i get to be a kid again. for instance, if i were to go play on the playground and jump around on the inflatables people would look at me funny and maybe call me crazy or think there's something wrong with. HOWEVER, if i do all those same things with my kid, then all of the sudden i'm a good father. go figure.

the inevitable

the other night i watched the republican debate on foreign policy. i know what you're thinking - this is gonna be one of his political blogs. well, yes. deal with it. and honestly i won't get too far into it. i recently posted something about Iran on my facebook and it erupted into a huge ordeal as facebook posts tend to do. anyway, the whole thing got me thinking about a theory i have. full disclosure - i didn't come up with this one. i got it from a former boss years ago, however i have modified it a bit. i gave it a new paint job, spoiler and installed a new stereo.

my political views. narcissist much?

my theory isn't necessary a republican or democrat belief. however it's a philosophical foundation that can make or break certain aspects of foreign policy from both parties. ok here it goes:

A nation's leadership and government is, for the most part, a reflection of what the people want and deserve based on their culture as a whole.

another way to say it is that in the same way that the unseen market forces of supply and demand determine the price of goods, so do the values of a given culture or nation determine the type of government and leaders they have.

this may seem counter-intuitive. for instance, probably half the people reading this voted for obama and the other half didn't - statistically speaking. but i'm not talking about minor differences between a republican or democrat. we as americans put a high value on life, personal liberties and self reliance, therefore we have a government system that has more protections of those values than any other country. our presidents may disagree on a few things, but they're all relatively the same compared to leaders of other countries. and what's funny is how the problems of the nation are so similar to the problems of individual citizens. americans are up to their ears in credit card debt while at the same time the nation is trillions of dollars in debt. our nation worries about health care while we as individuals are the fattest we've ever been (myself included).

europeans have similar values, and thus, similar style governments and leaders - usually elected, well spoken leaders wearing suits (as opposed to military garb) making decisions about trade rules and arcane social issues. however in societies when human life and personal liberties are valued less, you typically find more oppressive regimes with military dictators whose strength, while derived from their ruthlessness, is also what holds the country together. look at sadaam hussein. if you study anything about him, it becomes clear that he was very cut-throat and bludgeoned his way into power. however, iraq has for a long time been divided between different sects of islam so it's no wonder a military baathist dictator was the only thing that could keep order. and from a culture that sanctions "honor killings" as a normal way of life, it's no surprise they tolerated hussein using mustard gas on his own citizens.

if a leader of government grows too far out of step with what a culture wants, they rise up. it's as natural as water seeking the lowest place. some people would have us believe that whole countries are being held hostage by a certain political leader but this is false. a leader derives his power from the people he leads. and while he may be able to stretch how far they're willing to let him go for a time, eventually they will rise up for change when needed.

some of the worst dictatorships are those in tribal africa. how much of a coincidence is it that they are in countries with different tribes constantly at war with each other amoung people who regularly commit atrocities to their neighbors. when the local pillars of a society are telling the people that the only way to get rid of AIDS is to rape an infant, is it really a surprise that a leader like Mugabe exists?

there is a lot of beauty in different cultures, but not all cultures are equal. some value human life more than others. some are decidedly more evil, and their government and leadership are just an extension of those values.

so that's my theory. the real test is in the application of that theory. for instance, take the concept of spreading democracy to other nations. over the centuries, euro and american culture evolved into democracies because it was what their values demanded. it happened naturally. and while certain monarchies worked hard to hold it back, in the end there was nothing they could do to hold the tide of democracy back. if democracy is what a country wants, then it WILL have it. it might take a few years, but it WILL happen. the whole notion of american troops going into a country that has, by all means, chosen a different system, and we think we can change their culture as well as government to match our own is a bit ridiculous. why are military generals afraid to pull out of iraq and afghanistan? because they know the people are just going to go back to the way it was before.

for years our CIA has aided certain political figures in the middle east in their rise to power. these same leaders have essentially been puppets of the american government. and although it has worked out for us for a few decades, eventually the people and the culture get what they want. look at what's been happening with the whole arab spring thing?? our puppet in egypt has been replaced by a leader that represents the people and their beliefs. the same can be said for syria. our CIA helped prop up a puppet leader in Iran in the 60s, but eventually the people rose up and now they have a state run by sharia law. and i believe in the next decade or so we will see a transition to a more westernized way. and how? consumerism. young muslims love western culture - video games, music, movies. i mean, who wouldn't? but the difference here is that the shift (when it does eventually happen) will happen because that shift was in the hearts and minds of the people, not just because a new leader was installed.

i'm not saying this to side with either political party. and i'm not trashing certain cultures. i'm trying to remove any passion or emotion from the argument and just make it a rational fact. the point is, once you recognize this basic philosophy, it can dramatically affect the way certain foreign policy decisions are made.

the little waterpark that grew

Success - we all want it in some way. when i was a kid i knew i wanted to be a musician....well, either that or a baseball player. and although i started in the varsity squad most of my high school years, i was not blessed with the ability to hit a ball 400 feet over a fence. the desire for success comes with an equal desire for success to come QUICKLY. when i was 21 i was working at a big recording studio in chicago (www.chicagorecording.com). and when i say working, i mean making coffee, wrapping cables and taking my boss' dog outside (and yes, picking up the dogs' success in a plastic bag). i remember listening to a Spitalfield record that i loved and finding out that Sean O'Keefe, the producer was about my age and had already produced a great record. i would get so frustrated and wonder why i wasn't producing great records yet. i wanted success NOW. but over the years i've learned and am still learning that the road to success is frequently the slow and steady approach.

oh, you want an example? well, ok.

i grew up in springfield, IL. as a kid, we would go to a little waterpark called Knights Action Park. (www.KnightsActionPark.com). this "waterpark" was built on flat cornfield land. somehow they built a single hill about 4 or 5 stories high and had a grand total of 3 waterslides. except one of the waterslides is only for kids under 50 lbs. (that's 22.7 kilos for the rest of the world). they had mini golf and batting cages and go karts, but really, we all made fun of the place. i remember going to other waterparks on vacation and thinking about how much they dwarfed our little waterpark. when people from springfield would talk about Knights Action Park, it was almost as if we were embarrassed.

pictured above: everything they had when i was a kid

but here's the thing - the owners of the park kept at it, slow and steady. i've heard that their goal was to add one new thing a year. they added bumper boats, a lazy river, then a giant wave pool. i would come back to springfield every summer and they would have something new. and you know what?? one day we all woke up and realized that Knights Action Park was actually a pretty sweet place. they now have tons of waterslides and are still adding things. a few years back they added on a couple of drive-in movie screens. what waterpark has that???

pictured above: awesome attraction they DIDN'T have when i was a kid

my point is, there was nothing special about Knights. i mean, who ever heard of a waterpark built on corn fields? but they kept their heads down and did their best and eventually they had turned into a monumental success. i have no idea how much money that place makes, but i can make an educated guess that whoever owns the park is doing just fine.

the same applies to pretty much any situation. i remember talking to an older engineer back at that chicago studio asking how he got things to sound so good. he told me "i wish there was some trick i could tell you, but there isn't. you just get better over time." and you know what? he was right. the path to success is not about getting a big break. if you're a musician, it's not about getting discovered and getting a huge record deal. if some record company had found me as a 16 year old and given me a million dollar record deal, i would have failed MISERABLY and then my music career would have been over. patience and hard work are the key. when the time is right, opportunity will present itself and you will be ready. so if you're like i was, don't waste all your frustration just because you're not yet where you want to be. i mean, it's good to be motivated, but don't kill yourself because you haven't yet taken over the world. just keep your head down and keep working. one day you will look up for a second and realize that everyone is looking at you

If Dave Ramsey Was A Musician

Musicians are supposed to be young, cool, and fly by the seat of their pants. i've been playing music in some sort of professional capacity for about 7 years now. i am none of these things. and i admit, back when i was bachelor i (attempted to) dress cool, i was younger and i would do anything at the drop of a hat. now i am older, married, and if you haven't heard yet, i'm going to be a daddy in about 6 months.

growing up will change you. especially in the money area. when i was a bachelor i had roommates and found living situations where my rent was as cheap as humanly possible. ("humanly" possible - as if being an animal would qualify for cheaper rent). i ate hamburger helper and mac & cheese like my life depended on it....and realistically, it did.

if money was low for a certain month, no big deal. but now i have a family. i actually have car insurance and health insurance now. and in case any of you have been living under a rock for the last couple years, the economy hasn't been so great. especially in the christian music industry. so the last two years trish and i have been working the Dave Ramsey plan to get out of debt and get our financial house in order.

but lately (and by lately, i mean the last two years) i've been wondering what would happen if bands would run their business according to the Dave Ramsey plan. or better yet, what would Dave do if he was a musician?? well i've gone through and picked out a few of Dave's rules that run counter to what is common practice in music today.

1. PARTNERSHIPS

Dave has a saying that goes something like this: A Partnership is the only ship that will never sail. he ALWAYS advises against partnerships. and for good reason too - mixing business, friends and money is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. but here's the thing - a band is essentially a partnership. does that mean it's financially irresponsible to start a band? not necessarily. in many cases, when a band gets a record deal and makes the jump from amateur to professional, there is frequently one person (usually the singer) who does the majority of the writing. it is common practice for the label to sign just this person to a record deal and the remaining members are paid a per show rate. there are many ways to structure a band to avoid a partnership. many create a corporation with each member owning shares and when decisions are made it's based on a simple majority vote of shareholders.

my point is this - when a band has been together for years, eventually the members, no matter how good of friends they were in the beginning, slowly start to resent each other for whatever reason. but the reason 9 times out of 10 has something to do with pride.

2. DEBT

Dave is probably most known for his stance against credit cards. they're a trap that is too easy to fall into and everything you can do with a credit card can be accomplished with a debit card. most bands have credit cards. and honestly, a lot of them are responsible and pay their bills on time. but i often wonder if by having more cash reserves to book flights and rental cars instead of floating on debt would decrease the likelihood of a band getting in over their head when times get tough.

3. CASH FLOW

a way to avoid debt is to use existing cash flow to cover expenses. for instance, instead of taking out a big student loan, Dave would suggest getting a job, going to a less expensive state school and paying cash for college.

how this could best apply to musicians is in merchandise. here's how many bands handle merch - when you place an order for tshirts or any other merchandise, you usually have to place large orders. i'm talking $10k, $20k or more at a time. bands usually find a way to pay for the order whether through an advance or credit cards or whatever, and then when they sell it at the table, they spend that money without setting aside money for future orders. doesn't it make sense that if you sell a shirt for $15 and it costs $5 to make the shirt, you should set aside that $5 for a future order and consider the remaining $10 profit that can be spent on other things?unfortunately, this is not usually the case.

4. EMERGENCY FUNDS

Dave's plan suggests to first get a $1000 emergency fund, then later to work towards an emergency fund that covers 3 to 6 months of expenses. if you are a brand new band wanting to go on your first tour to the west coast, get some sort of emergency fund together. i promise you things WILL go wrong. you WILL break down from time to time. promoters will stiff you of money. i know from experience that getting stranded an hour outside Salt Lake City in December because your alternator went band can really turn a fun tour into something less than fun.

for established bands, cash reserves should be observed religiously. this business is either feast or famine. we go on tour and make lots of money, and then will go two months without significant income.

5. INVESTING FOR THE FUTURE

for most people Dave says to put aside 15% of your income for retirement. for professional sports athletes, i've heard it said that they need to be saving at least 50% of their income because their careers don't last as long as other jobs.

most bands don't last a long time. for every Newsboys that have lasted 30 years, there are 500 bands that get record deals but don't last longer than 5 years. if you are one of those few artists who are fortunate enough to do music full time, consider investing 15% or more into some sort of mutual fund or annuity for when the band does eventually break up or move on. you may not save up enough to make each member independently wealthy, but what if you built up a nest egg that spins off $10,000 for each member in interest every year for the rest of your life? now that is doable.

basically, i can sum up this whole blog by saying Dave would use common sense and rational decision making in an industry that's based around people pursuing dreams and making decisions based on dreams and not money. and i don't mean to be a buzzkill. i know you want to buy that tour bus. but instead getting ahead of yourself because it appeals to your ego and your dreams, take it one step at a time. buying that bus or lights or hydraulic spinning drum riser before it's financially feasible is the quickest way to get into trouble and take all the fun out of a career that is supposed to be fun. if you're a brand new band, don't immediately buy a van and book a 2,000 mile west coast tour for your first shows. start regionally and build a following. then branch out from there. i know you want to road trip to LA with your buddies and play some music. but what if you van breaks down and you end up putting thousands of dollars on a credit card to fix it - and when you get to that show in LA only 5 people are there and your van gets towed because it was illegally parked?

don't overextend yourself. there's a lot of competition with little reward in the music industry. one of the few benefits is that it's a fun lifestyle. don't ruin it by getting in over your head.

sports

oh man...@adamagee and @briancalcara are definitely not gonna like this post. probably a lot of you too.

the other day i came across a quote from Noam Chomsky, arguably one of the brightest intellectual/philosophers of our time. This quote pretty much embodies everything i've thought about sports for a long time but didn't know how to articulate. here it is:

"Take, say, sports -- that'sanother crucial example of the indoctrination system, in my view. For one thing because it offers people something to pay attention to that's of no importance. That keeps them from worrying about -- keeps them from worrying about things that matter to their lives that they might have some idea of doing something about. And in fact it's striking to see the intelligence that's used by ordinary people in sports. I mean, you listen to radio stations where people call in -- they have the most exotic information and understanding about all kind of arcane issues. And the press undoubtedly does a lot with this.

them and creating a basis for them and advertisers are willing to pay for them and so on.

You know, I remember in high school, already I was pretty old. I suddenly asked myself at one point, why do I care if my high school team wins the football game? I mean, I don't know anybody on the team, you know? I mean, they have nothing to do with me, I mean, why I am cheering for my team? It doesn't mean any -- it doesn't make sense. But the point is, it does make sense: it's a way of building up irrational attitudes of submission to authority, and group cohesion behind leadership elements -- in fact, it's training in irrational jingoism. That's also a feature of competitive sports. I think if you look closely at these things, I think, typically, they do have functions, and that's why energy is devoted to supporting

--

ok, i can identify with about half of this comment. first of all, i am NOT a sports hater and i don't think you're an idiot if you watch sports. i mean, one of the greatest albums of the 80's was titled Sports and if you don't know who recorded it then don't tell me you don't know cause i will definitely think less of you. anyway, if i'm with a good group of guys watching a football game i can totally enjoy myself. i love going to cubs baseball games.

and i'm not the nerd who was completely un-athletic in high school and now has a grudge. i started varsity baseball. i even hit two homeruns over the fence.

the part i can identify with is the building up irrational attitudes about submission to authority and the general pointlessness. sports are a fun pastime but the real problem arises when people treat them as if they hold any real importance. i played baseball from the time i was 5 years old all the way through high school. my parents had a rule that i could not miss church on sunday and our midweek service on thursday. in 7th grade i moved to the other side of town and went to a different private league. my coach had a weird grudge against me that i couldn't figure out until one day when he said he questioned my "commitment" because i went to church.

in high school i was chewed out many times by coaches who seemed to think that my whole life should revolve around how far i can hit a ball. the mantras, the diatribes, and the hoopla was just ridiculous. one time i was on a school basketball team and we lost a game. on the way home in the team van i pulled out a harmonica that i had been recently messing with and me and some friends started making up funny blues songs (i could only play one thing). the whole team was laughing until the coach started screaming that we should be more sober and in a bad mood because of our loss. seriously?? it's a freaking game. i played, had fun and would have liked to win, but you can't always win. no big deal, right? but to some people absolute success and absolute dedication to winning a silly game is their life. and furthermore, if it's not your life, then you are a horrible person.

this is more of a rant. i'm not sure i have much of a point to make. i guess i could say to any kids or teenagers out there that exerting yourself and pushing yourself and having fun playing sports is great, but if you have some douche bag coach in your face looking down on you because your life doesn't revolved around something that involves balls and cheerleaders, don't buy it for a second. just let it roll off your back. have fun playing sports. have fun with your friends. enjoy being outdoors. if you score a goal or hit a homerun or make a basket, then GREAT! i'm so happy for you. and ya know, if sports really is your passion and you work hard in the off-season and are hoping to go pro, then more power to ya. but don't get in your teammate's face because he's more worried about a girl in the stands than he is about the game. he's a teenager - he's hard wired to think about girls all the time. just let it go.