All I Want For Christmas

i love christmas. many of you may even know that my birthday is on christmas. so this time of year is like a cornucopia of presents for me. most people get presents throughout the year, but i pile it all into one lump sum like a white trash lottery winner. but here's one thing that is kinda unfortunate (and i'm speaking in a 1st world problems sort of way). when you're a kid, the stuff you want doesn't cost much. now that i'm older, all the toys i want cost hundreds and thousands of dollars. expensive guitars and amps, pricey guns and studio gear aren't exactly stocking stuffers. but a couple years ago i had a wonderful experience. as a joke, my parents bought me and my two brothers-in-law one of those toy RC helicopters. i played with that thing CONSTANTLY. that year i had a revelation that from now on, i want TOYS for christmas. and i really mean toys.

do yourself a favor. get up early and turn your tv on nickelodeon or some other channel with cartoons. now wait for the commercials. and pick your jaw up off the floor and try to comprehend how awesome toys are nowadays. i mean seriously, when i was a kid we had GI Joes and legos. i got so bored with toys that i pulled out pots and pans and made my own drum set. the stuff they have now is ridiculously awesome. here's a few

1. RC Helicopters/Planes/Cars/Boats, etc.

radio controlled cars have been around since i was a kid, but now we have RC helicopters and planes. and yes, smart aleck, that stuff did exist years ago, but they were high priced hobby-grade models that were a serious endeavor. i'm talking about the $30 impulse buy that provides hours of fun to a newbie and will break a few hours later. the company Air Hogs makes tons of different flying RC stuff. i have the most fun hovering the helicopter a few feet in the air and watching my dogs go crazy trying to jump at it and catch it.

2. ANYTHING FROM NERF

when i was a kid, nerf made footballs and that's about it. nerf meant taking regular sports balls and make them soft and squishy. now Nerf has become training ground for kids who grow up building their own assault rifles. the guns look like something out of a space age war movie. they have semi-auto and fully auto rifles that shoot a barrage of soft projectiles to give you all the real fun of murdering people without the messy cleanup. the next tour i'm on, i want to have everybody get nerf guns and have a giant nerf fight one day.

3. Xploderz Water Guns

when i was a kid a squirt gun was exactly that. a little piece of plastic shaped like a gun that squirt out little whisps of water. now kids have super-soakers that can drench a kid from a half mile away and now this - the Xploderz water gun. this water shoots projectile beads of water kinda like a paint gun. i mean, how cool is this? i want to go get this now.

4. Lego

do i really have to explain the awesomeness of Legos??

5. Video Games

when i was a kid we had video games, but this is what i had to look at -

i mean, don't get me wrong. i love me some mario bros. but how can those 8 bit graphics compare to the realism of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3?? i mean, seriously, this stuff looks like it's REAL

when we all get older, we start asking for lame gifts. clothes and socks and tools and scented candles. i mean, seriously?? if you are to the point where you don't really want anything or really care about christmas, ask for toys!! you save a lot of money and it's seriously way more fun.

i'm going to be a daddy in april. and one of the coolest aspects is that to a certain degree i get to be a kid again. for instance, if i were to go play on the playground and jump around on the inflatables people would look at me funny and maybe call me crazy or think there's something wrong with. HOWEVER, if i do all those same things with my kid, then all of the sudden i'm a good father. go figure.