happy thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving weekend. trish and i just got back from my parents house in illinois. it was great to see my family. the highlight of the weekend was shooting skeet [insert dirty joke here] at my aunts house. i should mention my aunt kathy because she told me she reads the blog so this is my shout out. anyway, i don't think i'd qualify for gun toting redneck, but holding a shiny hand canon and shootin' some lead at a little piece of clay is pretty fun. if you haven't had a chance to try it, i'd definitely recommend it. the gun in the picture is a remington 870 wingmaster that is about 50 years old. it was my grandfathers gun and now my uncle has it. the gun still shoots like a champ and by the way, my grandpa was pretty gnarley. i heard stories this weekend about him apparently going hunting without a gun by letting his dog chase a rabbit into an old car which he would then reach into, grab the rabbit, snap its neck and have a tasty snack. don't believe me? my dad swears by it.


Anyway, i had a chance to write a few open letters:

Dear Cracker Barrel:
please add some more merchandise displays to your waiting area. i'm still able to breathe a bit

Dear people driving by the accident on I-24 near Hopkinsville, KY:
just because a car is wrecked on the side of the road doesn't mean you need to slow down to a crawl and gape at it

Dear retailers of america:
kudos to you for creating a day where people camp outside your doors in the cold for the chance to give you money and impulse buy things they don't want or need just because they're on sale

Dear Strike and Spare Bowling Alley in Springfield, IL:
$4.50 a game isn't bad, but what's with the $4.00 for shoe rental? those smelly things probably cost five dollars to make and you're probably paying for each pair 5 times over every night. you try to squeeze money out of me, i leave.

Dear Tiger Woods:
you're not fooling anybody

Dear Risk computer game:
i love you but you're ruining my life

Dear 50" LCD flatscreen TV:
you are a dirty temptress. i told you already that i don't have the extra money so stop sneaking your way into my dreams.

Dear deer that i did not see or shoot:
you are very sneaky and i can't figure out if i just picture a bad spot or if you smelled me a mile away. i'm going to figure it out, but in any case, there's no way i'm spraying deer pee on me.

Dear Rain:
STOP IT


Sincerely,

Nick