two quick things

at a show last week a kid wanted me to sign his amplifier.



in addition to signing it, i crossed out the 10 and wrote in "11" because all amps should go to eleven.

and in other news....


DANG REDBOX! YOU RACIST!


click to enlarge

it might take a second, but you'll see it. i saw this in nashville the other day. i'm thinking someone should maybe fix that.

how it is

i'm not even going to pretend like i'm some young 19 year old kid playing guitar, posting über awesome shots from the stage. i mean, i've done that before and looking back, it's not that awesome. i think my time is much better spent making fun of myself. and of course, real life is funnier than fiction.....actually i think the expression uses "stranger" instead of "funnier", but you get my drift. in that spirit, here's an awesomely horrible shot of me playing a show last week.

what else what else...oh ya. spending every free second recording. that's right. i just finished tracking a project for a band called Captions from Pensacola, FL. they're a 6 piece that's got a big sound and have enlisted me to do a bunch of programming on the record as well so i'm pretty pumped about that. and of course, whenever i track in nashville i do everything i can to work at www.DarkhorseRecording.com. so last project i was on a Neve VR 72 and for this one i was on the Trident Series 80 desk.

the two consoles are complete opposites of each other in the sense that the neve is an in-line console where the mutitrack send fader and the return fader are all on the same channel. there's all sorts of cool tricks you can do with faders swaps and surround mixing that i never learned. i just figured out how to make it record awesome stuff and kept moving. the trident is not in-line meaning that one channel is used to send the signal to the multitrack and another channel is used to for the return monitoring. the in-line console is handy, but is unnecessary if you have loads of legit outboard mic pre's - and darkhorse has plenty.

and of course compressors:

for outboard pre's i used the vintech x81's which have been a favorite of mine lately, the brent averill 1073's, the api 512s as well as a few of the console pre's. for compression i used the distressors and the alan smart c2 which is basically the bus compressor from an SSL 4000 console.

here's my drum setup:

most of my pictures turned out blurry because of low light, but i was excited to try a couple microtech gefell tube mics about 20 feet off the ground up on a ledge on the far end of the recording room. i usually work out of the Cabin at darkhorse but this time we were in the Lodge and these were probably the best sounds i've gotten out of the lodge. and most of it had to do with the room mics.

one other thing to mention is my micing of the hi hat and ride. one thing that bugs me about drum kits is that they are inherently asymmetrical. the snare is a little to the left, the toms a little to the right and the hat way left. but in a mix we put the snare dead center, the toms panned evenly and yet we still put the hat a little to the left. so drum mixes by nature are off balance. so in an effort to correct this, i've been experimenting with treating the ride cymbal and the hi hat as a stereo pair. i mic them with a matched pair of mics that are pointed at the same angle and same height - even if that mean the mic is closer to one of the two cymbals. i'm still working on it, but i've definitely got a good start.

ok, that's all for now. i'll be sure to post some music once this project is done.

back to chicago

a couple days ago i got back from chicago. i'd been there for about a week and a half recording and producing a project for a worship band named Before Morning. I knew some of the guys from back when i used to live there. in addition to playing at their own churches, they travel around to conferences, youth camps and other church sunday services pretty consistently.

after a few days of pre production, we started with drums at my old stomping ground, chicago recording company (www.chicagorecording.com). we were in studio 4 on the Neve VR72 console. there have been a ridiculous amount of records and major artists recorded here. so much that i'm not gonna even try to list them. they have them on the website if you wanna check.

that big box in the foreground and under the console is a mackie powered sub....a sub usually used for live sound. and you can't see it, but there's an identical one on the other side of the room. this is in addition to the two 18" subs behind the console. when we came in a hip hop session had just ended and apparently two 18's weren't enough bass so they had to hook up these two babies to really bump.

and check this out:

that right there my friend, is a toothpick. why do we stick toothpicks into consoles that cost six figures? well, these Neve VRs get really hot. and they don't have the same cooling fan systems that other consoles do. back at CRC we have a saying that a session is going good when the "neve is cooking". it literally means that after you've been working a while, you could feel the heat coming off the console. anyway, these analog monsters burn through caps like my attention span burns through things to pay attention...what was i saying?? oh ya, the heat also over the years has melted some of the plastic that holds the buttons down and so the assistance of a toothpick is needed.

the drummer, stevie harmantas, was using a vintage ludwig kit that sounded amazing. and what's great about stevie is that he really knows how to tune a kit. he also brought along a ludwig black beauty, a maple snare, a copper snare, and some other snare that didn't sound good so i didn't even bother remembering it's name. here's a pic of the drum setup:

if you can't tell from the pictures, here's what we used:

Overheads - vintage Neumann U67s

Hat, Ride - AKG 451

Toms - AKG 414

Snare top and bottom - Shure 57

on the kick we used three different mics:

here we have a Shure Beta 52 on the inside, a Neumann FET 47 on the outside and a Yamaha Sub Kick also on the outside. i know the D112 is kinda the standard that people use for inside kick, but i just like the 52. i don't know, i guess i'm weird. the FET 47 is like a great sounding U47, but it can handle the level better than the tube mic.

and here's the thing about the sub kick. i've tried sub kicks before. or so i thought i had. on two different occasions i've been at studios here in nashville and asked if they had one. their answer was yes. then they came back with a handmade sub kick which is basically a yamaha NS-10 woofer wired up in reverse as a mic that looks something like this:

i was skeptical but decided it was the same thing. and ya know what? it didn't sound great. after this happening two times, i decided i didn't like it. but this time stevie brought his own sub kick - but the real sub kick, not some cobbled together facsimile of the original. anyway, this thing sounds great. it accurately captures the low sub kick frequencies around 60 - 80 hz without the accompanying muddiness from the low mids. i don't know if the casing makes a difference or what, but the real sub kick sounds better.

and for rooms mics:

vintage Neumann M249s in X-Y pattern

and...

B&K 4011's in X-Y pattern

after the tracking day, we spent the rest of the week at a smaller studio out in the suburbs closer to where the band lives.

we used a geddy lee jazz bass for all of the bass parts. i love jazz bass's. joel from tfk plays them except he switches out the stock pickups. they're one of my favorite jazz basses.

for guitars we had a decent little setup.

in there we had a few tele's, an '89 les paul (it's hard to think '89 is more than 20 years ago), a brian moor guitar and a PRS.

and here's amps and cabs:

we primarily used the Divided by 13 head, as well as the marshall Plexi and that tiny little head on top of the rack is a new offering from mesa that actually sounds pretty good. my scribe skills are lacking because i don't remember the model numbers of the mesa or the divided by 13.

as for Pre's, we used the avalon 737 and the API with distressor.

here we have two different divided by 13 cabs - one closed back 2x12 and an open back 2x12. the third cab had been refinished so i don't know who made it. again, my note taking is unacceptable.

and for vocals, it's the tried and true Neumann U87

well, that's all i've got for now. hope you enjoy. if you have any gear questions about details i forgot, just hit up the comments and i'll try to answer them all.

utter comedy

the best comedy comes from real life. truth is stranger (and funnier) than fiction. one of my favorite comedies right now is a poorly made low budget movie that's so bad it crosses the line into humorous. it's a movie that was originally put out in 2003. It's called "The Room" (the title has nothing to do with the movie) and it's the brainchild of a European immigrant named Tommy Wiseau who apparently loved american cinema so much that he spent $7 million of his own money to produce this film which he wrote, directed and starred in. and here's the thing - it's utterly horrible. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing - everything about it is horrible. so horrible, that it's funny to marvel at the fact that it was ever made in the first place. anybody can cobble together a CD in a home studio. but a full fledged movie takes crews, actors, producers, directors, catering, city permits, etc. how did everyone involved work on it with a straight face? the trailer is hilarious. here it is:

i especially love how they say it's the "best movie of the year" with a straight face. i mean, isn't that a joke from talladega nights?

Ricky Bobby: wow, i feel like i'm in highlander

Jean Girard: what is a highlander?

Ricky Bobby: it's a movie. it won the academy award

Jean Girard: oh for what?

Ricky Bobby: best movie ever made

the movie has garnered cult film status as they periodically have midnight showings around the country. apparently there was recently one here in nashville at the belcourt theater, but i missed it. what's even funnier is that the guy is now trying to say that he meant it to be so bad it's funny all along. he calls it a black comedy. so we're supposed to believe his movie is the kind of comedic genius that's on par with wes anderson? hmmm...sorry bud.

anyway, i managed to get a copy of the movie. don't see it. it's got boobies in it and a bunch of awkward sex scenes. just go to youtube. all the funny scenes are there without having to wait through that acting that's just bad and not funny at all.

oh, and here's a homework assignment for you all. usually the disclaimer is for kids not to try this at home. but i definitely recommend trying this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

the next time you're at a birthday party or some event where you need to sing happy birthday with a group of people, have some fun with it. whenever it's time to sing the birthday song, there's always an akward start because no one wants to be the first one to start singing. there's always someone who courageously blazes a trail and the rest follow. well, whenever i'm around, i like to be that someone. except my motives are more devious. you see, the happy birthday melody starts a full octave below the high note. if you choose a starting note that is fairly high, then that means the high note will be a full octave above that and as your voice fades into the background, you enjoy the hilariosity (i know it's not a word) as people awkwardly try to hit the high note. i mean, the average person already feels a little weird singing in front of others, let alone trying to hit an uncomfortably high note.

ok, i just re-read this whole blog and it really sounds like i have a seriously sadistic sense of humor. i promise i don't always laugh at the misfortune of others. i'm not that big of a jerk. oh, and speaking of dark comedies, i found out a friend of mine has never seen a wes anderson movie. if any of you haven't yet, go see bottle rocket, rushmore or the royal tennenbaums. ok thats all i have for now. i wish i had a funny last line to leave you with, but sometimes the witty endings just don't show up. even in a blog about comedy. how ironic.

Lost Finale

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if you haven't seen the finale of LOST yet, stop reading NOW. if you keep reading, it's your own dang fault cause this whole blog is about it. but when you do watch it, please come back and read.

and now, if you want to read more, just scroll past the only xkcd comic i could find that is somewhat relevant.




they're all dead. none of the drama means anything or makes any sort of sense because it's all just some sort of purgatory-ish daydream as they all cross the river styx to the afterlife.

here is an excerpt from one of my blogs titled "[I'm] LOST" from Thursday, March 4 2010:

"when LOST ends, it's going to be the biggest letdown ever. the collective sucking sound you will hear at that moment will be the public reeling from the shock that the story that they've spent countless hours speculating, formulating theories, and reading fan blogs about will have been for something so stupid. remember when seinfeld ended with what turned out to be essentially a clips episode? i'm talking ten times as much of a letdown as that...

...let me spell it out for you. THEY'RE JUST MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG."

so now with that being said, we come to the next order of business...


I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!!


so it turns out that LOST wasn't a sci-fi drama afterall. nope. all of us 18-34 year old male audience members have been suckered into the biggest prime time soap opera ever. there is no elaborate plot that twists and turns and finally comes together in the end. everybody said that the writers knew where they were going the whole time. well, it turns out they did. except they didn't have a plan on how to resolve all the unanswered questions. no, their pre-meditation was about how they were going to bait and switch us with the biggest crock on an ending they could think of. seriously, the whole "they're all dead but don't know it" was the first crackpot theory before everyone started having their own crackpot theories.

and ya know what? i'm not pissed at the writers. they pulled off a genius scam. they created a series that just made up random plot lines as they went along to keep ratings up without any forethought about bring it all together except for the cop-out "They're-All-Dead" trump card. they were creating questions all the way until the end. we never found out exactly what the light was, how it all worked, why a literal "cork" held it in, the sideways flashes, etc...

no, i don't blame the creators at all. they cashed in. they took all the intellectual sci-fi braniacs for a ride. how many of you spent hours on fan sites trying to find clues? how many spent hours trying to figure out what it all meant, the unifying theory to the LOST universe only to find out that it meant absolutely nothing. and the secret ending that nobody could figure out was the sort of obvious plot twist you'd see in a disney sitcom...well, ABC is owned by disney, so i guess that makes sense.

i mean seriously, you know you're lazy when you have a number 1 show for 6 years and your finale is borrowed from an M. Night Shymalan movie.



now don't get me wrong. i'm not a hater. i watched the show religiously. it was entertaining. they definitely knew how to leave you wanting more. but so does Days of Our Lives. that doesn't mean it's great writing. it only means they make stuff up to get people's attention. the standing joke about soap operas is that they make up ridiculous plot twists to keep people coming back.

"oh my gosh, she has a long lost brother! and she's been dating him!"

"i thought he died two years ago, but really he was kidnapped!"

"stefano is actually....HER FATHER!!"


the only reason i have an axe to grind is because so many people out there are completely in awe of how complex the storyline is. at a certain point it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. if a complex storyline equals awesome ending, then the more complicated a show is, then the ending's awesome-ness must be in direct proportion to how ridiculously complex it gets. while Heroes gets canceled because no one can follow the time traveling, LOST maintains its status as #1 with not on time traveling, but also with a completely alternate reality.

i saw a rather philosphical post today about the ending that said "we're all dead now. you just have to touch the right person and then you realize you lived on an Island with them at some point."

seriously? that is the biggest load of BEE-ESS i've ever heard. give me the instruction manual to assemble a cheap piece of IKEA furniture and i can put together some sort of reflective quote about "picking up the pieces of our broken life and making them into something great" or something like that.

and i can already hear one of the arguments against me. the writers have been quoted as saying that the details don't matter. they pointed to star wars:

"Take "Star Wars," for example. When the Force was a more ambiguous notion, it was more satisfying than when George Lucas tried to explain it as particles in the blood stream of a Jedi."


are they trying to say that because george lucas left out a few facts that it's some sort of a parallel for the black hole of answers that is LOST?? i mean, star wars was basically an inter-galactic civil war. LOST didn't even try to explain what the heck the island was, what the heck the light was, among about 1,000 other questions. a good story ties up all the loose ends in the end. they just ignored them and covered it up by saying, "hey, guess what....they're all dead. that other stuff about hatches and the others and alternate realities - ya, that didn't happen and we're not going to explain any of it because, well, we just made it up." it's like when a couple kids are playing basketball, one kid fouls the other, and when called on it, they just say it's their ball and they're going home.

but again, i give them kudos for cashing in and being such a success. they've written many more hit shows than i have. i just have a blog.

p.s. major props to @nathantbass for completely calling Jack sacrificing himself and Hurley taking over as the protector.

P.S. my buddy peanut is a LOST fanatic and we disagree on how stupid the ending was. he'll be posting his assessment shortly at http://lookingforlike.blogspot.com/

spandex and choke holds

words cannot describe what i have been through tonight. but i will try anyway. if i were to just tell you, you probably would not believe me, so i'm including many pictures. on one of my rare friday nights at home i found myself heading to a shady motel called the Stadium Inn near the interstate with a few friends. the excitement is bubbling over amongst us as we reflect on the stories and legends we have heard about this magical place.

as we walk in the doors we're greeted by a colorful crowd in the hotel lobby that is filtering its way into the main conference room. as we follow them in we are prompted to pay $8 and are seated amongst a scene that took me a while to process. how the heck did i find myself in the middle of a SEMI-PRO WRESTLING EVENT???

no, she is not one of the wrestlers. yes, beyond the ring you can see that there is enough room for 3 rows of chairs. the room is packed with about 100 people. i start to wonder how the wrestlers are going to jump from the top ropes if their head is hitting the drop ceiling. there are signs posted for their sponsor, a check advancing loan shark business. there's a man running the muffled sound system who is dancing in place and has a cowboy hat with the american flag printed all over it. the event starts and we're all prompted to sing the national anthem.

no sooner had the stereo started pumping some mindless grinder of a song that it all started. this was the real dog and pony show. we all watched WWF and WCW and WWE growing up. you know how it goes. song plays. wrestler comes out. people boo or cheer depending on his status as good or bad guy. but what's crazy is that since we were all packed into a room, how could we help but not to get into it and hurl insults, jeers and praise with everybody else?? best line of the night goes to nate lampa for yelling "attitude is everything" and later on "be optimistic."

all i can say is that my voice is kinda hoarse right now. when Kliff Hanger, a.k.a. The Black Diamond pompously prances around the stage, how am i supposed to just let that go without booing and showing my disapproval?? i mean, they had it all - tag teams, cheaters, a bad guy manager and even the middle of the ring drama of people talking smack over a microphone as if this practiced piece of theater were spontaneous. we LOVED it. the toothless old ladies on the front row loved it - although i'm not sure if they thought it was a real fight.

and in the title bout, one of the wrestlers who is a bad guy that goes by the name of The Crippler had what must be his girlfriend or wife as his ring girl, prancing around the stage, antagonizing the other wrestler and of course, wearing bad-girl black lipstick. you could tell they were a little older. now i'm not bashing this - it was actually kinda cool. they both got really into it and i hope when me and trish are in our late 40's we could do something this crazy.

as the two titans jostled about, we lurched out of our chairs, screaming and whipping ourselves into a frenzy. as the night progressed, i could tell that the "performers" were even starting to play to our side of the ring. in classic wrestling fashion, the fight spilled out on the seats as you can see here.

it appears the Crippler has just taken a bad hit from Boogie and his girlfriend/wife/ring girl is arguing with the ref over the validity of such a hit. the older ladies in the top right hand corner are definitely not happy about this.

the only sad part of the night is when the title bout abruptly ended when one of the guys got hurt - for real. the announcer got on the mic and said something about it being a draw and coming back next week. as people started filing out it became clear the dude was really hurt.

as we left the building, i noticed a bulletin board that was dedicated to some of their champions, past and present.

all i can say is that the experience was incredible. if you want, you can check out their website where they have videos posted at http://www.atlwrestling.net/. i had no idea anything like this existed outside of WWE. it's kinda like only seeing concerts in huge stadiums and one day realizing that bands played smaller shows too. i couldn't think of a better way to spend a friday night. and the best part?? i got my picture with the Psycho Medic!!

the REAL moral of the story

trish and i just got back from seeing the new robin hood movie. it was pretty good. i would say that it was amazing except for the fact that there is no accompanying bryan adams power ballad associated with it. remember the 80's and 90's when every good movie had a power ballad? if you don't, consider yourself lucky.

anyway, i walked into the theater half expecting some modern day retelling that focused on how evil rich people are with some sort of moral underpinning that rationalizes stealing from the rich to give to the poor via a modern day example of taxation of the upper class to pay for social programs. i was incredibly surprised to find just the opposite. ok, i won't spoil the movie for you, but the underlying message was about how when a corrupt government unfairly taxes their citizens, denies inalienable rights and squanders their wealth, then it is the right and duty for the citizens to rise up in defense of those rights.

i loved the disney version as a kid. but, criminettly nutsy, it doesn't quite pack the same message. in hindsight, it kinda painted the picture that people who are rich sit in their ivory towers all day with their snake-like friends counting their ill-gotten wealth. so in honor of that, i've compiled a list of disney movies and the messed up morals they promote.

The Little Mermaid

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this gem teaches young girls that they can only be princesses if they have legs. yes, a nice set of legs are the answer to all your problems. it also says they must win over their prince while keeping their mouth shut. oh, and that they should collect shiny things and hoard them all in a place where they can marvel at what to do with them. and that explains the fascination with walk-in closets.

Aladdin

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this movie tells young boys that the only way to have a chance with a pretty girl is to make lots and lots of money, or at least find ways to appear like you have lots and lots of money. it then goes on to tell young girls that if a guy lies to her and she finds out, she should take him back no matter how much he's broken her trust. it's a great way to get back at your dad. because, after all, he's just a lovable street rat trying to take you on some sort of "magic carpet ride" (or whatever the kids are calling it these days).

and lastly.....

Beauty and the Beast

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ok, young ladies, listen up. this movie teaches us that all men are horrible beasts that need to be tamed and taught manners. when you're old enough to date, make sure you find a guy who has tons of issues and is the furthest thing from a real man so you can make him your little project. and if for some reason you get involved with a nice, fairly normal guy, you'll quickly find he isn't half as interesting as a guy who treats you bad.

now that i think about it, disney is all about reinforcing deep-seated daddy issues. thanks walt. you've really done our generation a solid.